


You Wanna Talk About Feelings and Other Gay Bullshit?

by Squiggle_giggle



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flirty, Funny, Hurt Mickey Milkovich, Hurt/Comfort, Husbands, Ian Gallagher Loves Mickey Milkovich, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Married Couple, Mentioned Mandy Milkovich, Mentioned Terry Milkovich, Mickey Milkovich Loves Ian Gallagher, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Terry Milkovich's A+ Parenting, Therapy, supportive husband
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24679180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squiggle_giggle/pseuds/Squiggle_giggle
Summary: "Mandy called... she's seeing a therapist. Been telling her it's good to talk about this shit, said that the therapist wants to have an appointment with us, her brothers, a family session"When Mandy calls Mickey to see a therapist with her to discuss their childhood, it brings up a lot of repressed memories he wasn't quite ready to deal with. Ian is there to help him through it.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 6
Kudos: 145





	You Wanna Talk About Feelings and Other Gay Bullshit?

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm actually enjoying writing some Shameless.
> 
> This one is a bit on the serious side
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Its 3 am when Ian eventually finds his husband, he had gone looking for the brunette when he had woken up to a cold and empty bed.

Mickey was sitting hunched on one of the old dilapidated pool lounges, chain-smoking in the cool autumn air in a pair of threadbare sweats and black tank top; an expressionless look on his face as his eyes seemed to look off unfocused into the night air.

Concerned, Ian grabbed a thick throw blanket before he headed down the outdoor stairs to join the other man, Mickey flinched in shock as he felt the comforting fleece being placed on his shoulders and the chair dip as Ian joined him.

"So, this is where you escaped to?" Ian asked conversationally, watching warily as the brunette stubbed out his current cigarette before reaching for another and lighting up.

"Yeah, sorry man time got away from me," Mickey explained as he handed the smoke to Ian who took it, the brunette taking the opportunity to fix the blanket around both of their shoulders and lean against his husband for support.

"You ok?" Ian asked as he handed the cigarette back, causing Mickey to sigh heavily. Years ago, a question like that would have earned him a slug across the mouth but now Mickey knew that Ian was asking because he cared, not because he was prying or had any underlying malicious intent. There was still that initial fear, that fight or flight tendency that quelled in his stomach every so often but it was slowly fading with Ian's ever-present reassurance.

"Mandy called," Mickey began slowly, taking a long, slow meaningful drag from his smoke, "it was fine, haven't spoken for a while. Told me about her life, things she doing, people she's seeing, she's happy. But then we got talking about Terry and when we were kids, fuck, it just brought up a lot of shit I haven't thought about for years man."

"Do you… want to talk about it," Ian asked cautiously, trying to navigate the conversation slowly as if he was mentally avoiding land mines.

"What? Talk about my feelings and other gay bullshit?" Mickey snapped viciously.

"No," Ian assured rapidly, failing miserably already, "we don't have to do anything you don't want. I'm just letting you know that I'm here, listening if you want or need to talk about it." It was quiet for far too long, Mickey refused to meet Ian's eyes, sucked on the cigarette right down to the filter before throwing it moodily on the ground and stomping on it angrily. Slowly, Mickey took Ian's left hand in both of his and started to play with his wedding ring, a nervous habit he had picked up, one the redhead found endearing. Mickey spun the platinum ring around the occupant's finger, studiously looking at it as he began to speak with unease.

"I don't know how we got talking about it, just talking shit about the house we grew up in. It wasn't always bad ya know? Terry's brothers would come over on the holidays and there would be a lot of family over, wasn't until I was older that I realised that they were there running drugs or guns or what the fuck ever but as a kid, it was cool having family around, barely received a beating when they were there," Mickey said jovially, Ian wrapped his arms around his husband's shoulders and placed a kiss to his temple but remained silent during the story. It wasn't easy for the other man to open up about his past, even to him.

"Then mom died, things got worse. Terry started drinking more, more drugs than before… the violence man… I remember being ten years old, I was making cereal and dropped the milk, it went everywhere. I only dropped it because the night before he grabbed my arm so bad, he bruised it and I could barely hold the carton, he saw the milk in a puddle on the floor and he, just… lost it. Beat the shit out of me so bad I couldn't get out of bed for a week, Iggy had to carry me to the bathroom while Mandy brought me food. Crazy thing is, that's not even one of the bad times and when we were taken by CPS it was always on some bullshit charge ya know? Then it would be cleared and we would go straight back to him every time, people were still stupid to wonder why I was in juvie so much."

"I know we both grew up Southside," Ian started, wrapping the blanket more firmly around them when a particular gust of cold breeze swept by, "but our childhoods were completely different. While Frank still is a raging alcoholic, he never laid a finger on us, the only bruises or broken bones we had were the ones we gave ourselves. I may not understand what you went through as a kid but I will always be here for you, listening, supporting you in whichever way you need me to."

"It wasn't just me," Mickey began, his eyes becoming unfocused as memories flooded back, "Mandy had it the worst out of all of us. Sure Colin, Iggy and me we would have the shit kicked out of us, screamed at, used in Terry's fucked up schemes, I missed so much school that I couldn't spell my name until I was 8 years old. Mandy went through it too but since she was the youngest and a girl... Terry, he um..." Mickey cleared his throat several times and discreetly wiped his eyes as the heavy emotion overcame him.

"I know," Ian assured him, taking his husband's trembling hands in his own, "but Mick you were a child yourself- "

"Like that fucking matters!" Mickey snapped, ripping his hands from Ian's and reaching for the carton of smokes on the end of the pool lounge. Ian grabbed the pack and threw them out of reach, placing his hands on either side of his husband's face and getting him to look into his eyes.

"It does matter!" Ian punctuated each word, "how could you look after someone else when no one was looking out for you?"

"We tried to protect her," Mickey whispered, turning his head and violently rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. "Colin, Iggy and me, every time, we'd put locks on our doors, put things in front of it so he couldn't get in, even tried to fight terry which never ended well. Eventually, we realised something was wrong because it would night time, eating dinner and next thing it was morning."

"He drugged you?" Ian asked incredulously, though he really shouldn't be surprised by anything that vile man did.

"Of course, he did," Mickey spat, "The sick fuck."

"Mick- "

"It's whatever," Mickey waved off, getting up from the chair and slowly began to pace, needing to move around. He was quiet, pensive for a few moments before he sighed heavily, "the reason Mandy called... she's seeing a therapist. Been telling her it's good to talk about this shit, said that the therapist wants to have an appointment with us, her brothers, a family session..."

"Family session..." Ian said slowly, trying the words out in his mouth. He stared at his husband waiting for his reaction, he expected anger mostly, or a violent outburst, or sadness but it was mostly just confusion. "Is that something you would want to do?"

He received a shrug and a mumbled 'i dunno' as Mickey scuffed the ground with his toe. It showed Ian just how much Mickey had grown as a person that he was even considering it, years ago he would have knocked someone out for even the mere suggestion of therapy. Though it wasn't a resounding yes, it wasn't a 'no'.

"I just…" Mickey exhaled with exasperation, "I'm just no good with words."

"I wouldn't say that," Ian defended, "but you don't have to be. If you go, nothing is expected of you, just sit there and listen to what the therapist has to say, Mandy says she has helped her, she might have something that helps you."

"I've spent so many years, stuffing down all these feelings and memories, not letting them affect me. I don't know if this is something, I'm ready to bring back up and face again, there's a lot of things I haven't told you, Ian. Sick, twisted disgusting fucking shit no one should ever know," Mickey told seriously. Ian stood from the chair, closed the distance between them, wrapped his arms around his husband and placed their foreheads together comfortingly.

"I don't expect you to tell me any of it and it's not for some shrink to know either. If you go, go for you, don't even do it for Mandy, I'm so proud of you Mick; you're so strong and you don't have to make a decision right now. Its late, come to bed, sleep on it and if you want to talk about in the morning, I'm there to listen but if you wake up and decide you don't want to go ahead, that's fine too." Ian placed tender kisses to Mickey's cheek as silent tears slid from his eyes. The brunette rested his forehead against the other's chest and took a few steadying breaths as he collected himself.

It was such a juxtaposition from his childhood to now. Years ago, he'd get a beating for shedding a single tear, now he was outwardly crying with full support and encouragement of his partner. It was still foreign to Mickey, he wasn't the best at expressing himself or sharing his feelings but he was trying, for Ian, he was trying because it made the redhead happy when did things like that and Mickey liked that shit.

"Jesus, Gallagher," Mickey grumbled playfully as he pulled away and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, not realising just how much he had gotten caught up in the moment. He cleared his throat and spat on the ground needing to add some 'masculinity' back to this chick flick moment. "A blowjob would help me clear my head."

"Fuck off," Ian huffed out a laugh as flirtatiously pushed his husband towards the house, up to their bedroom. As they settled in for the night, Mickey not really in the mood anymore when Ian was willing to go through with his request, the brunette nestled himself against Ian and closed his eyes in thought. Maybe some therapy would do him some good? Who knows, the therapist is probably going to need their own therapist once a group of Milkovich's were done with them.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think!
> 
> Also, my canon is going to be Mickey's mum is dead, there is no real mention of her in the show and its very contradicting what is said.


End file.
